My best friend just called me freaking out!
I just got declined on a new mortgage because he never went and refinanced the house and home equity loan out of our joint names and into just his as we had agreed —
Can you believe this crap!?
We have been divorced for 4 months and I find out today that he never followed through on his part!!!Recently Divorced
He had 60 days to do it and his answer when I just called him is
‘Oh so Sorry I’ve just been too busy!”
She went on….“Now I’m stuck.”
I’ve found a house that is perfect for me & the boys and one that I can afford living on my own and now I’m being told I can’t do anything until the other house is out of my name too!
AngstHe’s just totally screwed me on purchasing this home and I’m going to lose it now!
This was not the only issue this friend had…
His ‘busyness’ delayed their divorce for almost a year.
They had agreed to mediation to keep from going through all of their cash assets and income on legal fees but the tactic of ‘dragging things out’ left her without any child support for more than a year.
His cancelling mediation appointments at the last minute, delaying paperwork that needed to be in was exactly what he used as a mean to delay transfers of
money! Not only that, he had upped his 401-k contribution and was presenting
that his ‘take home’ pay was much less.
If you asked me I would never had thought this partner would turn out to be ‘THAT guy”
Another client I just started working with had a similar post-divorce issue…
Be careful out there
In her case the transfer of funds, that was agreed upon as part of the divorce
agreement, from her ex-spouse’s qualified retirement account wasn’t getting done
quick enough and no one communicated to her how long it was truly going to
“He dragged his feet.”
We each had to put up $500 each to pay for the QDRO and the transfer. I paid mine right away.
He did not. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard anything and in following up found out he hadn’t sent in his share of the fee to the QDRO lawyer who wouldn’t start without full payment.
Had I known that this delay tactic would have happened, I would have made sure it was done prior to the divorce date being finalized.
It was the only benefit coming my way and he knew that I was using this money to secure a new home. All things that were going his way from me were ‘instant’.
I’ll get to it when I get to it.
I don’t have a spare $500 right now.”
Sadly, she was misinformed all the way around.
The Mediator they agreed to use had indicated the whole transfer process was just about 6 weeks. She got pre-qualified for a mortgage and started looking within 2 months of their divorce.
All was good?
However it was not…
She found a home, made an offer that was accepted immediately and proceeded with the loan paperwork.
She followed up with the mediator as it had been 8.5 weeks and she had heard nothing.
$40,000 of this distribution from his retirement account to her was being used as the down payment on this new home.
However the reality was that once his money was finally sent in, it took the QDRO lawyer another 6 weeks to filter through the paperwork and get the draft done and then back out to us.
AlertSo from start to finish with him dragging his feet this process took total of 7 months.
This client ended up having to borrow the money from her own retirement account so she didn’t lose the house she wanted!
Lost opportunity on her own money, having to pay back the loan in her account and the nightmare of emotions she road with for months beyond the divorce negotiation table.
Both of these women didn’t deserve what happened to them and neither felt that the mediation process was transparent enough and left them feeling like they didn’t know what they should have asked better.
I share these points with all of you because I don’t want to see this same thing happen to other women!!
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