Kids Sports & Activities

Michelle Jacobik Divorce Leave a Comment

This became an all too familiar cry I was hearing from women…

“I am so glad all of this divorce stuff is behind me and I thought our settlement was ‘fair’ and I was actually doing really well this past few months, but NOW…

I feeling like I’m worse off then I could have imagined and I have no idea how to make it all work.

Can you help me?”To many women

These are the calls over the past 2 years that inspired me to to look at making ‘pre-divorce’ financial coaching part of my practice and pushed me to pursue my designation as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) professional.

This mother of three, had two boys ages 14 & 16 and one daughter age 17, all of whom participated in competitive sports at high levels.

The boys were both on year round travel soccer teams, attended elite and collegiate camps and the daughter was on both a competitive gymnastics and dance team.

All 3 were still at home with one nearing college within just a few short months. Thankfully she been offered scholarships to cover the majority of her attendance at a state college.

The boys however were still going to have sport related expenses of about $15,000 each year until college.

The settlement failed to address how this mother post-divorce would be able to manage paying her bills along with these added shared expenses of keeping the kids lives ‘normal’.

There was also no foundation in the agreement on which to build her future and it what they agreed to was to ‘share the costs’ of the kids extra-curricular activities and settle these expenses ‘monthly’ which she clearly didn’t have the means to handle.

This being ‘unable’ showed up in month 4 when her ex was looking for $5,800 (her share of their camps that were just booked for the summer, along with the initial fees for their re-enrollment in their summer travel team and for reimbursement for half the hotel and meals for their tournaments that were attended in the previous month.

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You can imagine that dealings with an ‘ex’ (regardless of which side of this you are on) are not pretty when one cannot come up with ‘their share of what was agreed upon’.

Things like:

  • ‘“Well you’re the one that wanted them in the sport, YOU pay for it!”
  • “You can’t take blood from a stone, I don’t know what to tell you!”
  • or lastly, “Hey if we can’t afford it just go tell the kids they will have to stop”

I was on the receiving side of this issue as I was the higher wage earner in my divorce and I was faced with an ex who was unable to pay for the things he had sat and agreed to and wasn’t willing to go get extra work to help keep the kids in the sports he insisted we engage them in and at the level they had played to.

It sucked and put me on the financial hot seat, on a clear defensive with him, and feeling like I was the one that had to make the tough decisions around the kids and how our divorce was going to affect them in this area of their life that clearly provided SUPPORT that they needed.

Things like this have to be clearly thought out and calculated.

This person above (and my ex) needed the benefit of a financial expert to map out how all of this would look financially before signing this fantasy ridden, un-fulfilling document.

Many times we sit at the table and we just want it over.Many women

We don’t’ want the kids to be ruined and we just agree to agree.

We don’t think beyond that and into the real numbers over time and the financial investment it takes to get the kids through to adulthood.

We also don’t necessarily think about legal cost and ramifications if brought back to court on something we agreed to that we are not holding up our end on.

Have Questions?

I offer a free 30 minute consultation. Let's talk...

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About the Author

Michelle Jacobik

Expert in Money, Business & Finance #1 Best Selling Author & Speaker

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